my how time has flown...

It's been since March since I've blogged and it seems like it has been an eternity! So much has happened. We welcomed our beautiful boy, Benjamin James into the world in July and he has been such a joy in our lives! With the new baby arriving, life has gotten hectic and thus, no blogging. However, today is December 31st and I am determined to start blogging again, BEFORE the new year! So it's not technically a resolution because I started the day before. :)

Today is the last day of 2009. I think back on all I've endured in the last year and it has been full of emotions. Sadness, unbelief, joy, exhaustion, delight, and more. This has been an incredible and hard year in many ways and I'm thankful for every moment, for it has made me the person I am. It has been a convicting year, one in which I've seen things I must change. So I look toward the future with hope. 2010 is going to be the best year yet whether it brings heartache, surprise, wonders & miracles for it will be another opportunity for me to become the wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, woman, I am supposed to be.

Broken & Beautiful

As I was flying to Ohio, I was listening to my ipod. I usually let it shuffle but this time I was listening to Mark Schultz. He has a song called "Broken & Beautiful". I just love the imagery in this song. Once again, it is a song that stirs deep emotions within me. It's overwhelming to think of how I am so undeserving of God's love because I am a sinner. Knowing that I sin, I continually sin, but with God's grace, I am not broken but I am beautiful to Him. This song has such a positive message of redemption. No matter what we have done in our past or present or future, we can come to Christ just as we are...

I hope this song ministers to your heart as it does mine.

slow fade

i posted this song back in october but wanted to post it again. this song really touches a chord in me. this morning as i was listening to it, i was struck by tears. the powerful words of this song ring so true. as i think of bringing a child into this world, it hits me even harder. my husband and i are to be an example.

in today's world, affairs and divorce are common place. it truly takes God at the center of a marriage to make it work. i remember a friend i used to work with. she was older and she eventually went though a divorce. her and her husband were a godly couple who were very active in their church and ministry. you wonder how do people who are walking with the Lord get to that place? i remember her telling me it was a slow progress over a period of time. it started with missing a few sunday's here and there. then missing devotional time...it was a "slow fade". he was then at the point of giving himself away because he was no longer focused on Christ individually or as a couple. through God's amazing grace we can be picked up by His outstretched arm and be brought back to His side, but we still face the consequence. this song for me, more or less, is a warning...an encouragement to "be aware". don't let yourself slide. don't allow the black and white to turn to gray. be a lover of Christ. have Christ as the center of each and every relationship. be aware of those who look up to you as an example. whether it be brothers, sisters, friends, children, etc. be an example of Christ and of His relationship with His bride.

many of us remember the song "oh be careful little eyes what you see"..."slow fade" ties that song in beautifully in order to convey the message in such a poignant way. i hope it speaks to your heart like it does mine.

east to west

this song by casting crowns is one of my favorites. it really is such a picture of how God forgives and how we as humans struggle to understand just how far those sins have been removed and will be forgotten.

psalm 103:12

"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." (NIV)

"and as far as sunrise is from sunset,he has separated us from our sins." (MSG)

Be Mine

I got this in an email for Valentine's Day and I wanted to share the message. I hope you had a wonderful day full of love!

By: Rachel Olsen

"My lover is mine, and I am his." Song of Solomon 2:16 (NLT)

While I spent the last few months thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, another group of people likely spent it focused on Valentine's Day: greeting card writers. Valentine's Day is the second-biggest card-buying holiday besides Christmas. More than 200 million cards will be exchanged this weekend. That's a lot of love.

Have you ever watched somebody pick out a greeting card for someone special? Growing up, my family owned a chain of Hallmark stores where I worked as a sales clerk. The occasional customer would breeze in, look at two or three cards and then head to my cash register. However, most would spend 10, 20, even 30 minutes reading through cards, searching for the just right expression of love.

In Christ, God sent us the ultimate Valentine. "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life" (John 3:16, The Message). Whole and lasting, two things we desperately seek but rarely find in this world. Long after the greeting cards I might receive are forgotten, I know that God's love for me endures.

Jesus demonstrated His love for us and taught us how to live and love each other. He received criticism, testing and rejection -- and yet gathered strength from God to turn the other cheek. Jesus prayed for us, and His enemies. He even suffered crucifixion in order to save us from our sin. Jesus is God's perfect expression of love. His life and death are God saying to me and you, "Be Mine."

Yes, God loves us so much that He gave us His most valuable gift, Himself. And after Jesus rose fr om the grave and ascended back to heaven, God sent His Spirit to remain with us. As He shares Himself with us through His Son and His Sprit, God says, "You are my beloved." Hearing that is better than any sentiment the best card-writer could pen. God Himself, given for you and me -- as well as anyone willing to open their heart to Him -- demonstrates the ultimate expression of love. Like melt-in-your-mouth chocolates from a heart-shape satin box, He invites us to taste and see that He is good.

Close your eyes and hear Him whispering to you today, "Be Mine."

Psalm 23

I received this text in an email today. I really liked the comparison.

The Lord is my Shepherd = That's Relationship!


I shall not want = That's Supply!


He maketh me to lie down in green pastures = That's Rest!


He leadeth me beside the still waters = That's Refreshment!


He restoreth my soul = That's Healing!


He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness = That's Guidance!


For His name sake = That's Purpose!


Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death = That's Testing!


I will fear no evil = That's Protection!


For Thou art with me = That's Faithfulness!


Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me = That's Discipline!


Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies = That's Hope!


Thou anoints my head with oil = That's Consecration!


My cup runneth over = That's Abundance!


Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life = That's Blessing!


And I will dwell in the house of the Lord = That's Security!


Forever = That's Eternity!


Face it, the Lord is crazy about us.

My oldest sister

I wanted to finish my tribute to my siblings and of course Gwen is the last of my siblings. We have an 11 year age difference. So by the time I was really growing up, she was away at college. I didn't really get to know her better until I was older. Gwen was and always has been a popular girl. She was a cheerleader in school and was in the musicals. She had a lot of friends and people liked to be around her. She is still that way today...very personable and friendly where ever she goes. She is a free spirit and enjoys doing as much in life as possible. She has an adventurous nature.

I know all siblings tend to have rough patches and I did with Gwen. It wasn't until I was older and more mature that I took a hard look and realized whatever our differences, whatever the choices we've made, she is my sister...my family...and she always will be and I will always love her. It's hard to ask forgiveness from people but I think it's especially hard to ask it of a family member. It is what restores relationships and if you have Christ, allows you to move forward and not look back. Sure as humans, it's easy to keep a record of wrongs and to bring those back to mind. But as a Christ follower, I need to love and forgive as Christ loved and forgave...sending those wrong doings, thoughts, etc as far as the east is from the west! It's a continual choice to erase those thoughts and feelings but with God all things are possible.

I know Gwen and I are very different but I still appreciate every unique difference that she possesses and I'm thankful for God allowing me to have such a diverse group of siblings. Each special in their own way, each bringing a different perspective on life than the other. What a blessing!

It's been a long, long time

Well, I managed to get behind in my blogging again...seems rather typical. : ) However, I have a good reason. Since I've announced my pregnancy, I've been rather sick. It seems like I've had it all! Along with all of that, I haven't much energy to do much of anything, let alone talk on the phone or type on the computer.

This pregnancy has been quite a journey. I've experienced happiness, sadness, frustration, depression, loneliness, joy and a myriad of other emotions. It's been a time when I've had to totally depend on others and depend on Christ. It's not easy for me to ask for help...I would rather not ask. But through this experience so far, I've realized that when I need help, I need to ask. There are people in my life more than willing to lend a hand. It's true of my heavenly Father. He is there no matter what...and He wants me to go to Him for help. Even though He already knows my needs, He wants to hear it from me. Of course it's easy to go to God in times when there is pain and suffering and ask for healing and for things to be restored but He wants to hear from me as a friend, a child...I've had so many good conversations with my parents during this process and I think, "do I talk to God the same way?" God wants that from me and I need to remember that He is interested in every part of my day, every part of my pregnancy, every part of my life.

I hope that encourages you too...do you speak to your heavenly Father in the same way each day? Meaning you say the same words or pray for similar things? Or do you just talk to Him like you would your best friend or parent? My most meaningful prayer times are those not when I'm closing my eyes, but when I'm sitting, driving, cleaning, etc and just talking out loud in a conversational tone like I would do with someone that is right there with me.

brother of mine

Stephen. My dearest brother and my only brother. There are 10 years that separate us. I know having an age difference like that can play a part in how close you might be to your sibling. Of course when I was younger it was more difficult because by the time I was going to school, he was off to college. I do have some fond memories of my brother when I was a little girl. One being at Christmastime we acted out the nativity story. My cousin's were in town, so as I recall, they played Mary and Joseph, I played a shepherd, Christen was a sheep and Steve was a moose! What a great memory. Steve also had a love for Alaska and took trips there. I remember him bringing me home some neat things. One of which was an Eskimo yo-yo...which I still have to this day! A deeper relationship has really occurred since I've become an adult. Again, I appreciate my family more now and it makes those relationships even deeper because I am able to understand them on a different level.

Like I mentioned earlier, Steve is my only brother. He had to put up with 3 sisters! Poor guy. My brother loved music and I recall him listening to his different albums and playing on his guitar...jamming out. My brother used to listen to Keith Green back in the day. There was one album cover of Keith Green where his face covered the whole thing. Steve would hold that up to his face and dance around. I loved that! It made me laugh. I have that album now and every time I look at the cover it just brings a big smile to my face.

I have always been proud of my brother. He is a strong person with a tender heart. I don't know if everyone sees that but I do. He is kind and loving when it comes to his family. I love hugging him. There is just something about a brother's hug. My brother is truly unique. He has a great love for the outdoors. He enjoys Clint Eastwood movies. He used to make his own movies...I remember once going out to the reserve for one of his movies. He likes the west. He is a wonderful artist and has a lot of creativity. He has an affection for a lot of things and I know on the top of that list is his family. He is a wonderful brother and friend. I don't know what I would do without him. I thank the Lord for him.

There's no other love like the love for a brother. There's no other love like the love from a brother. ~Astrid Alauda

sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters

Sister: 1: a female who has one or both parents in common with another 2 a: a girl or woman regarded as a comrade b: a girl or woman who shares with another a common origin

My sister, Christen. I can tell you when we were around the pre-teen and teenager stage; we were each other’s worst enemies. I remember having crazy fights with her pretty much for no reason at all. I would sit on her, try to scratch her and she would try to do the same to me. I really cannot recall what would start these fights. Of course mom or dad would always come try to resolve whatever the issue was at the moment and I remember my mom always making us say “I love you” to each other. I’m sure I instigated a lot of the arguments because I wanted to be where Christen was and I wanted to know what she was doing…I wanted to be like her. I think that’s probably common among siblings. Well, I remember my mom always telling us one day when we grew up we would be good friends. At the time there was no way that was possible…but mom was right! We are not only sisters but dear friends.

When I became an adult, I was able to appreciate Christen more. I could understand her on a different level as we both were more mature and didn’t have the silly sibling rivalry going on. I think the first time I really realized how much Christen meant to me was when we moved away to Germany. I think I realized that about most of my family. I had always lived at or near home and always had my family nearby but when we moved, that was gone and the security was gone. I know phone calls and emails and IM chats helped me get through some of that but it was when I would come home to visit and had to leave again that it made me realize just how important my family was to me. I am so thankful for my dear sister and for the friendship that we have today. I am so thankful for her support and love.

Christen has a soft and gentle spirit about her. I’m sure she would say otherwise especially when it comes to disciplining her children, but I think she does. She is a loving and caring person. She is artistic. She has a great talent in painting and drawing. She likes to reminisce about our childhood, like I do. On one of my last visits we had fun trying to play old records on the record player. She is the best sister a girl could have and I thank God for allowing her to be a part of my life and family.

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. By: Amy Li

A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. By: Marion C. Garretty

Family Ties

Family. I just love my family. When you look at the word Family in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary it says:



1: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head

2 a: a group of persons of common ancestry b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock

3 a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation

I like all three of these meanings. My family is so vital to my person and my being. My family makes me who I am. Family, as we see defined, can be your blood relatives, or people you hold common convictions with, like Christians. I have a fantastic close knit family into which I was born and I also have an amazing family of God! I am so blessed to have both.

As the new year has started I’ve been thinking a lot of family…probably because we are expecting to add to ours this year. I’ve been reflecting on the time spent with family and how my own family has molded me into the person I am today. I want to try and focus on those who make up my dear family and share what I appreciate about each of them.

Hello 2009

It's officially 2009...it's hard to believe but it's true. This year will be an interesting one in many ways.

As a country we have a new president coming into office and we have a faltering economy that everyone seems to be watching. Obama preached a campaign of change...so we will see what kind of change is made to our country in 2009.

I'm just glad that even though things may seem insecure and at times the world seems scary that there is hope and it's not courtesy of any politician...it's from God. No matter how topsy turvy our country and our world get, He is the one holding us in His hand and He is the one that knows the future and has a master plan. That is the only thing that gives me confidence in the year ahead.

Personally we have some great things to look forward to this year. We are moving into a different house this month...one with more room. My niece will be getting married this summer. And our biggest blessing this year will be the birth of our child! We are expecting our blessing to arrive around July 15. So we are just thrilled that the Lord would bless us with this awesome gift. We are truly thankful.

So as I look to the future and wonder what it may hold...I don't make resolutions because I'll only get depressed when I fail...I just look to my heavenly Father and seek His will and pray to be in the center of His will regardless of the outcome because I know that's the best place for me.

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Happy New Year! May it be a blessed one for all of you!

Goodbye 2008

We said goodbye to 2008 last night. 2008 has held 365 days of good and bad. When I look back most everything I remember is good. I was able to go back to Ohio twice to visit with family and friends. My husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I was able to share in my father's 70th birthday. I got a job. We experienced the power of prayer and saw requests answered. I know this year was a roller coaster ride for us at times. There were times of questioning God and wondering why he allowed certain things to happen. There were times of crying out to God...times when words couldn't even express what was being felt. But in the end, as I look back, I can see His plan was weaving into a master design...the design He had in store for me and for my husband for 2008.

I don't know what your 365 days were like but I hope when you look back you are able to see the hand of God. I hope you are able to reflect on the good and the bad... reflect on how you are a changed person from your experiences. Remember: God brought you through each and every day whether you realized it or not and He will be there all 365 days of 2009.

Matthew 28:20- I will be with you always, even until the end of the world.